Champagne and Broken Hearts. Rated E. Welcome to the Viktuuri telenovela nobody asked for (except me)! Katsuki Yuuri gets drunk at the GPF banquet, seduces Viktor Nikiforov, sleeps with him, and then – “This asshole literally left me with tea on the nightstand and not even a number, and now he calls to me like this?” Viktor cries into his phone to Chris, waving around his other phone playing a video of Yuuri skating his program. “I’ll show him!” Or, Yuuri gets amnesia of the 24 hours following the start of the GPF banquet, after accidentally hitting his head while trying to get Viktor breakfast and returns to Hasetsu without knowledge that anything has ever happened. Then Viktor shows up naked at his parents’ house and — “Wait a minute, what do you mean you have an evil twin?” Viktor panics, because how exactly is he supposed to deal with two Katsukis? Yuuri shrugs, “it’s the dark family secret we don’t talk about. You could’ve slept with my evil twin.”
Okay, so. Ya’ll don’t even know what has happened in the last 30 min. Apparently, my brain has decided this fandom NEEDS wild 1990s Mexican telenovela style drama. So, let me introduce ya’ll to some fun facts about this telenovela:
- Thalia (singer and actress) was in like A TON of telenovelas in the 1990s, all of which came with their own catchy theme song. In the spirit of those days and her famous works Marimar and Maria la del Barrio, I give you – Yuuri Katsuki as Yuurimar.
- You can’t have a telenovela and NOT have an evil twin. Yuuri has an evil twin brother named Riyuu (don’t question it). An accident when they were in the junior division forced Riyuu to stop competing. He left home and hasn’t been seen since. Dun DUN DUUUUNN!!
- Riyuu kidnapped Vicchan so Yuuri would fail at the GPF! He didn’t count on Yuuri meeting the love of his life…
- Viktor Nikiforov rich successful bachelor who has yet to find inspiration and love! Enter Yuuri and a(n accidental) one-night stand. What happened to Yuuri? How did he hit his head on his way to getting Viktor breakfast? Will he ever remember his magical 24 hours with Viktor (and the only 24 hours he conveniently forgot about his life)???
- Viktor shows up in Hasetsu because he can’t let go of love! Love happens. But in the shadows lurks Riyuu (aka Eros-looking Yuuri).
- All the same stuff from YOI only 10000x more extra because we need Viktor being a telenovela stud. Also, because this is a telenovela, they adopt Yurio. Don’t ask why or how, just go with it.
- And here is where things get wild: The GPF again!
Yuuri comes face to face with his evil twin who still has Vicchan hostage and wants Yuuri to purposely lose the GPF to get his revenge. If Yuuri wants Vicchan back, he needs to throw away his career and all he’s worked for with Viktor. All telenovelas have at least one person falling down a flight of stairs so…
They meet in like a staircase, Yuuri in his Eros costume, Yuuri evil twin in Yuuri’s track suit that he stole to trick Viktor that he was Yuuri so he could get into the venue. Yuuri and evil twin get into it. Vicchan is barking in the corner like “noooo” and then Yuuri accidentally pushes Yuuri evil twin down the steps. Scared, he grabs Vicchan and runs away! Viktor is unable to find Yuuri and finds the evil twin… Dun dun dun!!!!
- Riyuu is in a coma! But wakes up with amnesia! He doesn’t know who he is and becomes good and sweet and Viktor thinks he’s Yuuri, so we enter – The (Accidental) Usurpadora arch (another 1990s telenovela). BUT WHERE IS REAL YUURI??? Real Yuuri is hiding out. He has Vicchan. But he sees the news and is like “Viktor noooo” but turns out Seunggil Lee is connected to some uh people in the illicit circuit and offers Yuuri protection because dog bros
- Yurio, as any good son, is the one to realize that’s not the real Yuuri. Vikto finds Yuuri and begins… the reconciliation arch, which usually means a wedding and a baby, but since we already have the adopted kid, cue puppy montages as they get a third dog.
- Viktor’s ex-lover shows up to the wedding trying to stop it, but there’s security there so bye, boy, bye!
And so the telenovela continues…
I’m still crying 😂
wabi sabi 